Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
