I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
