i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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