drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
