Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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