Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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