can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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