Just fell off a train. Bad.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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