lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
thus making me awesome and them whores
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
