so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
