i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
