I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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