And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
