I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
