So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
