some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
