I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
