dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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