he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
this boner is exhausting
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
