I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
