You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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