my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
