you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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