But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
