I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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