I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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