I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
