The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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