i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
