oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
