You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
