you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
