So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
