Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
