Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
