I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We had to coat check the pizza.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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