so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
