dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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