I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
