Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
