I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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