you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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