I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
