i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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