how can u be prego again
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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