Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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