Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You took a bar mat shot.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
