you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
