It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
