Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My hand turned me down
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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